Book Review: Keeping You a Secret

Title: Keeping You a Secret 
Author: Julie Anne Peters
Publisher: Little, Brown 2005
First read: February 3rd, 2011
Page total: 250 pages
Genre(s): Serious Issues; Young Adult; Realistic Fiction

Synopsis: When the hard-working, council-running, stressed-out-because-she-doesn't-know-what-to-do senior Holland Jaeger meets the transfer student Cecilia "Cece", she is instantly intrigued by her and is puzzled about her sexual preference. What about her year-long relationship with Seth? What is she now? Gay? Bi? Questioning?

It is palpable from the very first page that Cece is an out-of-closet lesbian. And Holland seems to be straight on the outside. I mean, she's been dating this Seth guy for a year - they even have had sex. So why does Cece have this impact on her?
I was, admittedly, intrigued. I thought people know when they are gay. I even considered Holland being bi. She did, too. The readers accompany Holland as she struggles to find out who she is, what she wants and how she should act on it - it was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.

To be totally honest -which I'm intending to do nowadays- I had trouble reading this book. Not because it was boring. Not because I feel uneasy with the topic GLBTQ. But because it felt so real. I felt the pain Holland must be suffering from and I felt like I had this lump in my throat. As if I was chocking. I felt the hope Holland felt when she was Cece, the joy. It was as if I were inside her head, experiencing everything with her. And she's so brave. Stubborn, brave, and kind-hearted. She loves childeren. My heart broke when she thought about not being able to have children and about wanting to raise children with somebody she loves.

I don't know anyone in my circle who's gay - or maybe they haven't come out yet, because of the same reason as Holland's: They haven't met someone who sets off this sparkle yet. Who knows? Maybe Holland would have stayed with Seth forever if not for Cece.
I know some people believe being gay is something wrong and dirty - just like Holland's mother does. But it's not. I'm not gay so I can't tell you how it feels to be in love with a girl but does it matter? Why should it matter if you are in love with a girl or a boy? Why should someone else care? Why shouldn't you be allowed to love someone you loves? Now that's twisted. Nobody can force people who are gay to "become straight". It'd be like as if all straight people were forced to become gay.

Love is something beautiful. Something glorious. I could totally understand Holland's best friend Leah when she said: "I hate [Cece]. (looking at Holland's expression) I don't mean that. I'm insanely jealous. I can't even imagine how it would feel for someone to love me that much."

By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead + TRA's

Book Name: By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead
Author/s: Julie Anne Peters
Language English
Original Title: By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead
Publisher, year: Hyperion, 2010
Page total: 224
Date Read: June 21
Genre/s: YA, realistic fiction
First line of Book:"The white boy, the skinny, tall boy with shocking white hair, sneaks behind the stone bench and leans against the tree trunk."
Review: Daelyn was bullied all her life. After several suicide attempts, she is determined to get her death right. She finds a website called 'through-the-light.com', which talks about suicide. Not to stop people of committing it, but to show ways to do so. The best ways: less painful, that don't take much time, more efficient. It has a chat room, where all the John Does can talk and share their life experiences while their DOD (Date Of Determination) doesn't come. Daelyn's is in 23 days, which is the minimum required. She will get it right this time.
Then Santana comes into the picture. He's awfully persistent... Every single day, he waits for Daelyn to come out of school and sits by her on a stone bench. He will not give up.
It's quite late to let someone into her life though, isn't it? Well, who knows?

I absolutely loved this book! I knew it was good, since I read some reviews but - WHOA - it exceeded all my expectations. Daelyn, though depressed, tuned out to be a likable and relatable character (I mean, who hasn't been bullied one time or another?) and Santana...well, what can I say? He's Santana. The guy who made me laugh and tear. The guy who may be the girl's salvation.
I will reread it anytime soon. Very soon.

Rating:5/5

Teen Read Award: Best Hottie Nominees

Teens read awards is a website for you to cast your votes. Whats the best read? Best all-time fave? Best series? Best book-to-flick? Best new writer? Vote for this and much more!

What I want to tel you about are the BEST HOTTIE NOMINEES. Here's the description:

Some characters are just hot. It’s not their fault, they were written that way. And you can’t help that your heart beats a little faster when you read about them – it’s all part of their hotness. But since hotness is in the eye of the reader, we think it’s safer to let you decide which one is the hottest of them all.

Don’t see the book you want to win? Enter your own pick and be heard.

Tell us your vote and HR!